Bill

Friday I changed my plans. I had not officially been scheduled to work at the Mission. I woke up with the sense that I needed to just walk the street, allowing myself to be guided. I wanted to go to the Mission to say my goodbyes. By the time I got there, I had already had at least 6 encounters. Everyone at the Mission, as usual, was gracious and had kind words. At the desk I asked two questions, “How do you get to Staten Island Ferry, and how do you get to where the battleships are?” It was the beginning of Fleet week. Both places were what seemed to be at opposite ends of the city. They were in opposite directions. I was closest to Staten Island Ferry so I went there first. I had one encounter on the way. Both times that I have been to NY, I have not done too much touristy stuff. I am not called there to do that. It kind of felt good not to be on an agenda or someone else’s clock. After I did the ferry, I made my way to 42nd street via the subway. The subway follows 8th Avenue. I got off at 34th street instead of 42nd street, because the train I was on was going to 50th street. I had begun to get hungry. You know when you get so hungry you don’t know what you want? That’s how I felt. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, so I just kept walking. I saw a couple places that I might like to try. One of those places was White Castle. I had never been. I had heard about it on t.v.. I kept that in mind as a possibility. Despite my hunger, I would on to where the battleships were. The only ship I saw was the Intrepid, which is in dry dock. (It is quite a massive ship.) I had a few encounters on the way. (I know this is long, but hang in there. There is a reason.) My feet were getting tired, my stomach was in need of food, but God was pushing me on. I came across 45th street to get back to 8th Avenue. I was again looking for a place. I was interested in the Shake Shack, but it was too busy. It was so busy there was no place to sit. Again White Castle came to mind. Then I couldn’t remember exactly where I saw it. “Was it between 34th & 42nd?, or was it after?” I continued to walk toward 34th. By this time I was so tired and weary, but in that stretch I had encounter after encounter. It was like 5 or 6 in a row. Bam, Bam, Bam! Finally I saw WHITE CASTLE. There was hardly anyone there. I just wanted to rest my feet and eat. I ordered, and then chose my seat. I took the seat all the way on the end, closest the door so I could look out the window. When I opened the two burgers I had ordered, I wanted to shout, “Where’s the beef!” I ate one of the teeny tiny burgers, checked the other burger before taking a bite. I discovered that it had onions on it. I hate onions! So I picked them off. I made a total mess of my hands, got up to get a napkin, sat back down, two bites the burger is gone. I wiped my hands again, and suddenly standing before is a man in a hooded sweatshirt. He said, “Excuse me Ma’am, but can you spare a quarter?” At that point my Knee-jerk reaction is to invite him to sit down, and share my fries with him. I introduced myself and asked what his name was. He said, “Bill.” I asked him how long it had been since he ate. “I don’t know. I think it’s been three days.” I asked if he would like some burgers, fries and a coke.” He said, “Yes.” I came back to the table with his food. We talked. I began with the questions I had asked all the others. He’s been homeless 3 years, because his friend had talked him into coming here. His friend had said there was plenty of work. I asked him about faith. He said he was Catholic, and his faith was in God. “I pray every day that things will change. I pray for Him to show me where to go to get help. I’m stuck.” He ate every bit of the food that was in front of him. As we continued to talk tears flooded his eyes. “I just don’t know what to do. I pray and nothing happens. People don’t care.” I reminded him that I was sitting in front of him. He smiled a bit. His face showed desperation, as if he would do anything to get out of the situation he was in. I encouraged him to keep trusting in God, and not to give up. I gave him a D&D card and a card with directions to the Mission. I told him he could get a hot meal every night. “I have no way to get there.” I gave him $3 for the subway. It was enough to get him there. He thanked me over and over, took my hand and kissed it. His tears were still flowing. I encouraged him to hang in there. Don’t give up. Keep the faith. God hears and is working, even when it seems like He isn’t. I got up and told him I needed to go. He thanked me again. We shook hands and I left. I was shaking my head all the way back to the subway. Wow! It was that perfect timing God is so good at. Amazing!

A.B.

A few days ago (Wednesday, May 21st), I was walking down 22nd Street to 8th Avenue to catch the train to go to the shelter. I went this particular way because there was a grocery store on 8th Avenue between 22nd and 23rd street. I came to a young man; I’d say he was in his mid 20’s. He had a big green hat on (it looked like a throwback to the 70’s.) I approached as I had every other one and asked the question, “Are you homeless?” He shot back, “Now what right have you got asking me that question?” I conceded that he was right. I shouldn’t have started off that way. So I came back with, “You are right.” I took a breath, stuck out my hand. “Hi my name is Sue. What’s your name?” He let his guard down, and said, “AUBU. It’s short for a name you’ll never be able to pronounce, so just call me A.B.” I offered my hand and said, “Nice to meet you A.B.” We shook hands. So I asked the question again. “Are you homeless?” He replied, “I am coming out of homelessness. Things are looking up!” He stopped and said, “Wow! Look at you comin’ up and bein’ all bold and in my face. That’s cool!” And he bumped his forearm to mine. (I instantly went from white to African American.) So I went through the questions per normal. He has faith in God. He was very grateful for the coffee card. He bumped my forearm with his, and we parted ways. I didn’t get a picture. So this morning, (Friday, May 23rd), I left the Convent heading for 42nd street bus station to get my return ticket home. Again I decided to cross over 22nd street to get on 8th Avenue because I again wanted to stop at that grocery store. So I walked down the street taking it all in. I’m always on the look out to see perspective encounters. I see a couple guys working on their stuff. I assume tey are homeless. I walk across the street, and as I got closer I realize it looks like A.B. So I say, “A.B.?” He looked up from what he was doing with his soft colorful personality. He treated me like it was old home week, gave me a hug. We bumped forearms. I couldn’t help but smile. A.B. went back to his work, but continued to talk to me. I introduced myself to his friend. His name was Pop. They were both upbeat, hopeful. Pop was collecting bottles. He was homeless. His faith was in the Lord Jesus Christ. He had a little push cart half-filled with cans and bottles. He said, “It’s hard work. I work until 11 p.m., sometimes later.” I gave him the D&D card and the Mission’s card and told him I would pray for him. I turned back to A.B., who was still working on his project. He said, “That coffee card came just at the right time the other day.” I asked if I could get his picture, but he refused. I felt led to give him another card. A big smile came over his face. He said, “Wow! Your just like the Coffee Fairy!” He bumped his forearm with mine, and said, “I name you Coffee Fairy. Go to www.sue_cf.com.” We both laughed. He hugged me goodbye, and told me to thank the person who gave the card. I continued on my way.

POP

Orlando

Before I woke up on Friday, I had a dream. The sky was dark and there was a tornado. I was by myself, and the tornado was coming toward me with great force, and then just before it reached me, it was lifted. There was debris that lifted before it could hit me, and then it was reduced to a few wisps of dust and air. And then I woke up. As you will read in another blog post, I had changed my plans on Friday to include going to the Staten Island Ferry (It was free and it would provide many opportunities for encounters.) I was making my way back from the Staten Island Ferry Terminal. I came upon what I thought was a woman at first (he/she was sitting, bent over and wearing some colorful garments,) but as I approached I realized it was a man, a very BIG man. I used caution as I approached him by making sure I left enough space between us. I got a sense that he could wipe me out in a matter of seconds for whatever reason. I think a lot of the homeless want to give off a certain persona for protection. So in a very cautious manner I stuck my hand out and introduced myself, and asked what his name was. All the sudden in a very loud, forceful voice (I was thinking to myself, “Here it comes….he’s going to clock me, and I’ll be a grease spot on the side walk.) I’m sure I must have winced, waiting for the hand to come across, ready to duck. Anyway back to the loud, forceful voice. He reached out his hand to meet mine. I felt my body get rigid. Yes, I was scared, but I kept with it. He took my hand very gently, but firmly, and said in that loud forceful, deep voice, “I AM OORRRLLLAAANNNDDDOOO!!!” I think I felt it reverberate, and echo off the tall buildings around us. Everyone around me stopped for a moment and then continued on with what they were doing. There was a puff of air that blew my hair at the same time. It was one of those scenes where with one eye open you felt like patting yourself down to make sure you were still in one piece. At this point, I was a little nervous and my words got a little jumbled, but I hesitated just a bit, took a breath and assumed my role. I again asked the questions. As I talked, Orlando softened. When asked about faith, in that very strong and forceful voice he said, “YES, I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ! I am the commander of faith!” I was not there to judge another man’s faith. I was there to give encouragement, and hope. I was there to make the invisible, visible. When I gave Orlando the D&D card, I presented it like every other card; it was as if he had been reduced to a little boy. He was softened and approachable. He smiled and thanked me. I was no longer shaking in my shoes. I reached out my hand his hand met mine. I said I would pray for him, and have my friends pray for him as well. He again thanked me. I went on my way. Later I thought about the dream I had had that morning. The rush and force of my dream tornado translated into Orlando’s voice and manner. It was as if God had been warning me ahead of time of what was to come.

Nicky

After getting out of the shelter today, I had to go to Midtown Manhattan, Madison Avenue to be exact. I needed to get a part for my computer. I had called the week before to make sure they had that particular part. They said they had tons. As soon as I got off the train, I plugged in the address on my g.p.s. I made my way through the crowds of people and lines of traffic and made it to the store. It was crowded, so I had to wait my turn. There was no order to how they waited on you, so I stood trying to wait patiently. Finally, a sales person came over. I asked about the part. He said, “We are sold out.” I told him that I had called last week, and was told that there were plenty in stock. I would not have any problem getting the part. He double checked, and sure enough no part. I walked out of the store kind of dejected, but decided to make the most of my trip to do another errand. I again plugged in the address on my g.p.s., and began making my way to the store (Lego store). This required me to walk down Madison Ave to Park Ave over to 5th (Don’t quote me on that. I’m really bad with directions in the city.) I made my way down Madison Avenue, when I came upon a girl sitting, hugging her knees, with a sign draped over them that read, “Homeless Please help. Thank you.” I walked over and knelt down so she could see me. She was looking all around like she was in a state of high alert, scanning the area. I said, “Hi, my name is Sue. What’s yours?” She responded in a quiet, sweet voice, “Nicky.” “Nicky, I see you.” I reached my hand out, and she met it with hers. I asked the questions. How did it happen? Do you have faith? I have not asked the question, how old are you?” But her appearance begged the question, her answer, “twenty-four.” It was difficult at that point to keep my emotions in check. I looked away for a moment, took a breath, and finished what was before me to do. When I asked her about faith, she said, “Yes, I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.”. I asked how long. Her response, “ten years or so.” I encouraged her to hang on to Him.” I asked her if she had a place to stay. She said the McDonald’s in the area let’s her sleep there at night. She said the program Common Ground is going to help her to get back on her feet, but she is waiting. I gave her the D&D card, and a card with instructions to get to the shelter where she can get a hot meal, and put a couple bucks in her hat that was on the ground. She thanked me in that quiet, sweet voice. I asked if she was thinking of doing something desperate. She looked me in the eye and responded with a solid, No! I said I would pray for her, and have my friends pray for her as well. She agreed to a picture. I encouraged her to not give up, to hang on. I again reached out my hand and she met it with hers. She again thanked me. I got up to continue on my errand, which proved to be fruitless as well. I struggled with my emotions as I walked back to the convent. It became plain to me that I was there for Nicky. It was difficult to walk away.

Nicky, May 22, 2014

The Invisible Part 2

The Invisible-Part2 RECAP While waiting for the train I heard someone playing a drum and singing. It was beautiful. I spotted him across the tracks on the other side. In order to get to him I would have to physically cross the tracks or I thought go back out. I wasn’t sure how to get there. Nick was walking across the platform. I asked, “How do I get over there?” Nick didn’t answer, he just pointed to the stairs leading under the tracks. So off I went. I walked through the tunnel up the other side, and there he was playing away. He looked my way, acknowledged me with a nod. I waved, and walked closer to him. He stopped and asked very loudly, “You see me?” I said, “Of course, I see you.” He smiled and said, “Nobody sees me. They just walk by.” I have to recap a bit here, because the next piece is very important. As I stated in part one, I had been struggling all morning with my emotions. I had wanted to throw in the towel, go home. This was too hard. I just kept walking through it. This had been an extremely intense week so far. I felt like it didn’t matter; now it seemed that I was on autopilot, just moving through it. Oh I was giving the best I had at the time, but earlier my emotions were raw. Like I said, I kept walking through no matter how hard it was. I asked the man’s name. He had to repeat a few times, because remember we are in a subway tunnel and trains are still moving through, so at times we had to speak loudly in order to hear one another. I finally got it. King One was his name. I told him my name. We shook hands. He went through this diatribe of how he got his name. He said it had all the letters from his birth name, and continued to elaborate on it. He said God gave him that name. Then he jumped to a whole different thing by saying it didn’t matter because God wasn’t going to win in the end. He said, “Look at how things are. There just getting worse and worse. Nobody cares.” He continued on using Bible references to support that God wasn’t going to win in the end.” I disagreed quietly, even though a few hours earlier I had felt that way in my own spirit. I didn’t want him to become combative, so I just let him go on. He went on, and then I would try to steer him to a different direction. I commented on how nice his music was. He told me he hated it. God wanted him to do it, but he didn’t want to do it anymore, “What’s the point? Nobody listens.” My words coming right back at me. I shook his hand again and said, “I’m here in NYC on a mission. God brought me here, to talk to you.” (Now who was the crazy one?”) I asked him if he remembered what he said to me when I walked over to him. I told him what he had said. “You see me?” He shrugged and repeated, “Nobody sees me.” I said, “that’s why I’m here, to see you.” I asked if he liked coffee, he said, “yes” I gave him the D&D card and the card to the shelter. Here is the part that got me. You know how sometimes you are in a noisy place and suddenly it becomes inexplicably quiet. The subway became inexplicably quiet. Kelvin shook my hand and said very clearly, “I call you Queen Sue. Queen Sue you must continue what God has given you to do. You are going the right direction. You are on the right path. Don’t stop until you have completed the work. Just keep going.” My jaw dropped, I couldn’t believe that this seemingly mentally ill man was so clear and to the point with words that I needed to hear in that moment. Wow! I shook Kelvin’s hand again. I thanked him and said I would pray for him. I began to walk away. He asked what music I liked. He said, “How ‘bout some good ole gospel?” I said that would be nice. He began to sing and play, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” I recorded it. The train came. I waved goodbye. He shouted, “Goodbye Queen Sue.” Of course I jumped on the wrong train, but I didn’t mind.

KELVIN

The Invisible

The Invisible- Part 1 This morning I decided to have breakfast at the convent before I left for the shelter. They offer just cereal, and I usually get there when all the bowls have been put in the dishwasher and it has been started. This morning I had to dig for a bowl, and got one! I heated my tea and grabbed my cereal went and sat at a table by myself. There were several other women in the room. They all were speaking to each other, laughing, talking, laughing, talking all in Spanish. I hadn’t brought a book or my phone, which would have distracted me. I sat there ate my cereal and listened to all the noise around me. It is a very lonely feeling to be the only one in the room not understanding what is being said. I began to think of the homeless. How lonely it must be day in and day out to see person after person walk by you, not even acknowledging your existence. Yesterday was a very emotionally charged day. I had spent the morning grappling with my emotions for whatever reason. Things were beginning to take their toll on me. I had my breakfast at a diner close to the W23rd & 8th Ave. subway station, so I could see if Derek would go in while I was sitting there. It was close to the time that I saw him a few days previous. After eating, I went across the street and down the stairs. I walked through up the other stairs, just in case he might be outside. As I walked through, there was a man standing, looking at the turn-stiles as if waiting for an invitation. I continued on my mission, to look for Derek. I walked around a little on ground-level, and decided I would move on. I came back down the stairs. I walked by the man, still facing the turn-stile, and turned just before going through myself and walked back to him. I asked if he was waiting for someone. He said, “No.” He didn’t elaborate. He just said no. So I dug a little bit. “What’s your name?” “Nick”, he replied, offering nothing more. “Do you need to get someplace?” “Yes.” “Do you need fare?” “Yes.” I went to the kiosk, dug out my credit card, got a $10 metro card, enough for 3 rides on the subway. I came back over to Nick. I asked him if he had faith. He said, “Yes, I have faith in Jesus Christ.” Nick was not a big talker. I gave him the D&D card, a card to the shelter, and the metro card. I told him I would be praying for him. I took my metro card out and swiped my way through the turn-stile. Nick came right behind me. While waiting for the train I heard someone playing a drum and singing. It was beautiful. I spotted him across the tracks on the other side. In order to get to him I would have to physically cross the tracks or I thought go back out. I wasn’t sure how to get there. Nick was walking across the platform. I asked, “How do I get over there?” Nick didn’t answer, he just pointed to the stairs leading under the tracks. So off I went. NICK

DEREK

The Sacred Heart Residence a catholic convent in the heart of the Chelsea district is the place that I am staying this trip. It is an old Brownstone with the long steps leading to the big heavy doors. Everyone here speaks Spanish or Japanese, and always broken English when speaking to me. I am a minority. Anyway, I woke up early, thought I had slept in. It was only 6:30, but I couldn’t wait to get out, and begin my first day of my second week in NYC. I was excited, but apprehensive. I had had a lot of difficulty the day before with my trip into the city. Now that I was here, I was second guessing a lot. I was fearful, doubting and questioning. I just kept praying. There was a lot of oppression. There were things happening at home that I needed to help with, as much as I could being this far away. What did God want me to accomplish here? The only plan I have when coming is to volunteer at the Mission. God fills in the blanks. I know I have to go to the Mission, and I know I have 50- $5 Dunkin Donuts cards to give out to the homeless for the people who have provided them. I had already given one away the night before. That was to Rodney. I didn’t want to force things. I wanted to be led. There was a lot of chaos going on in my head. I felt overwhelmed, but I kept walking through it. So my first morning, I had to get breakfast, because the convent doesn’t serve meals on the weekend. (No, I didn’t go to Dunkin Donuts.) I went to the Skylight Diner on 33rd street, and had a nice breakfast. I came out of the diner, and decided to go to 34th street subway station to catch the train to lower Manhattan. I hadn’t bought my Metro card yet. I stepped up to the kiosk. For some reason it was temporarily only taking cash. I wanted to pay with a credit card. So I decided, since it was a nice day I would walk the few blocks to the next station down, which is 23rd street & 8th Ave station. I walked down over the stairs and sitting on the landing before the next set of stairs was a man with a cup that contained a few dollars. He didn’t say anything. He just sat holding the cup, as if willing people to give. I interrupted by saying, “Do you have a few minutes to talk?” He said, “Yes.” I asked if he was homeless. He said, “Yes.” I could tell he was tired and worn, but his eyes were kind and gentle. Once I asked the question he took off talking saying, “I only take the 1 line (subway train), because the others are more dangerous, because of people’s attitudes about homelessness. They set you on fire, and beat you up because you are homeless. So I stay on the 1 line.” He kept talking about himself. He has prostate cancer. He doesn’t go to shelters because as he says, “people take your stuff and do drugs. I don’t want to deal with any of that.” I asked how long he had been homeless. He said, “Two years.” He said he took on to much financially, and then lost his job. He has no family. I asked if he had faith. Enthusiastically he said, “YES! I couldn’t do this without Jesus. With Jesus I can hold my head up and keep walking.” I presented him with a D & D card that someone had bought. I told him that it was a $5 gift card, and could be used at any Dunkin Donuts. I told him who it was from, and handed it to him. He rubbed his eyes, but had been a little bit as we were talking. I figured he might have allergies. He admitted that he was rubbing tears from his eyes. He shook my hand and told me how much it meant to him that I sat and talked, and that someone else cared enough to send him a Dunkin Donuts card. I asked if I would thank her for him. I said I would. I asked to take a picture. He agreed. I shook his hand and told him I would pray for him. We said our goodbyes. I walked down to the kiosk to get my metro card. That kiosk was not working either, so I had to walk back by Derek. He saw me coming up the stairs. He was still in tears. He said, “You made my day,” He smiled and laughed a bit. I shook his hand again, and encouraged him to keep the faith and not give up.” He said he wouldn’t. I asked if he came there everyday. He said, “Yes, same spot, pretty much the same time.” We made a time to have coffee together. I have not seen him since. I’m praying.

Where to from here?

Upon my return from NYC, someone made the comment that they couldn’t wait to see what God did with my trip experience. To share this, I must first start with the day before I left NYC. I went to Chef Pedro’s Food Pantry in Brooklyn to help out. This day in particular God used as a lesson for me. To get to the food pantry I walked through one of the worst parts of Brooklyn by myself. (Sharon, a volunteer from NYC RM, was supposed to meet me @the train, but was delayed.) Chef Pedro’s church was huge. As we worked through the morning, bagging up the food, I observed Chef Pedro walking back and for the, pacing and stating that things were changing. From then on the recipients would be coming through the church, not collect their goods outside the church. He felt that this was important because, they needed to be able to sit in the sanctuary to think about Jesus. His passion for what he was doing, and what he now believed, was evident in how he delivered the message. I was drawn in by his passion for the needy. Later that day, Sharon walked me back toward the train. We decided to go have lunch. We went to a diner. We sat in the busy diner chatting about the events going on in each of our lives. The waiter was trying to rush us out, but Sharon would have none of it. She had something to say to me. She wanted to pray over me. The busy diner was suddenly quieted in the background of powerful prayer. She was speaking to me at the same time as she was praying. She would say something to me and then immediately pray. It was powerful. These moments profoundly put my NYC trip into perspective, and God used it then to propel me forward to be bold in speaking about all that He had done, and continues to do in and through me. My life will never be the same as it was before. Only God can make those powerful changes in our hearts if we let Him. Here is a list of all that God has accomplished in, and through, me since my return. 1) Immediately I was drawn to serve at St. Bernard’s Soup Kitchen in Rockland. I began with the understanding that I wanted to learn to cook. I served for about a month on Mondays, when I was asked to switch to Friday’s to cook. I thought the challenge was going to be the cooking. It turns out that that is not the case. Through the Soup Kitchen I have met some pretty awesome individuals. I did go to the Hospitality house in Rkld to explore opportunities to serve. I was directed away from there. I ran into a friend @ Rock City (another coffee moment). She told me about the Cornerstone Mission in Rkld. I did not know that it existed. I immediately went there to explore possibilities. The moment I walked in I knew that it was the place I was supposed to be. God wanted me there. I am now serving in the capacity of Church Liaison (I am laughing with God about this.) 2) I have had several speaking engagements. One of the things that Sharon prayed for that Saturday afternoon was boldness. My reply to her was, “ I am an introvert by nature.” Her reply to me, “It doesn’t matter. God wants you to be bold in sharing about everything you have learned here. 3) A beautifully written article was on the front page of the Camden Herald about my trip. I sent the article to NYC Rescue Mission. (We shouldn’t hold these things in or keep them to ourselves. We need to encourage others in their faith.) I wanted them to see how God had used them in changing my life. Subsequently an article will be coming out in their monthly newsletter this month. 4) Recently, as a result of the article, God orchestrated a meeting with me and another woman who had read the article. On this particular day, I was pretty discouraged. I was working at the Cornerstone Mission. She called wanting to make a donation. She was very excited that we existed. I told her I would wait for her to come. She called 20 minutes later and said she couldn’t make it, and asked if I could meet her in Camden. I said I had to go to Camden later on that day, took her number and told her I would call when I was 5 minutes away. We met in front of the library. I had Ben with me. He needed to get some books. She asked if I would sit and talk with her for a few minutes. I said yes, and sent Ben in to do what he needed too. She wanted to know about the Mission. I gave her the information. Through our conversation my NYC trip came up. Her jaw dropped. She said very excitedly, "I have been looking for you! I called the paper and they wouldn’t give me any of your information. When are you going again?" I replied, "May." She said she couldn’t go then, but if I went later in the year, she wants to come with me. I asked if we could have coffee together every few weeks. She agreed. We hugged, said goodbye and agreed to stay in touch. I walked away scratching my head, smiling, thanking God for picking me up at those times when I feel like giving up. Next Blog coming later today.