Monday, May 18, 2015

Lost and Found

I woke up on Sunday morning.  I wasn’t refreshed, but I wasn’t as sick as I had been.  The nausea was gone, and the sore throat had faded.
I began to get my things together to get out on the street.  I hadn’t planned to go to the Mission until the beginning of the week.  Today would be dedicated to mainly street work.  Giving out D & D cards to the homeless.  As I was getting my things together, I discovered that my wallet was gone.  I looked through every nook and cranie of my room, the bathroom the kitchen.  I retraced my steps to the store across the street.  That was the last place I had it.  I went in and asked the clerk.  He said if it was there it would be in a specific cubby.  It wasn’t there.  I walked back across the street to my room, much more slowly taking in every square inch of the sidewalk, hallway and apartment.  I looked through my stuff about 5 times.  It was not there. 
It hadn’t had time to really sink in, because I had been too busy trying to fix it.  The magnitude of it suddenly hit me.  I am in New York City with no identification, virtually no money, because my debit card and credit card were in the wallet, which was gone.  My mind started to race….I won’t be able to board the bus, because I don’t have an id.  The only way I can go anywhere was to walk, because I had no metro card.  You need money for that.  I went through my big backpack and found cash that people had given to buy D & D cards.  There was $30.  That’s all I had.  The rest of the cash was in my wallet, which was gone.  I could conceivably eat at D & D all week with all the cards that I had, but that is not why I am here.  This is not about me.
I sent a text out to my Prayer Warriors.  I couldn’t do what I do without them.  It was afternoon and I hadn’t eaten anything yet.  I was too caught up in the loss of my wallet.  There was literally nothing I could do, so I walked to W125th Street to look for food.  Everything felt so uncertain.  If this or this happened how would I do what I need to do?  I would not stop.  That just isn’t in the plan.  I would be slowed down for sure.  I prayed as I walked, at one point tears just flowed down my cheeks.  I’m sure my eyes were red and swollen.  I prayed through my tears.  I just knew that God had something to show me.  I didn’t want to miss it by reacting or overreacting.  I wanted to walk through it.
While I was walking a man came up to me.  He was trying to sell his CD for his group.  He had a great presentation, said all the right things.  He called me Queen.  I listened to every word.  I didn’t stop him.  I let him go on, and then when it got to the point where I would say, “Oh yes, I would love to buy that CD.”  I said, “I’m sorry, but I have lost my wallet.”  He got this look on his face like he’d never heard that excuse before.  I said, “I’m serious.  I lost my wallet, so I don’t think I can buy your CD.”  He gave me such a merciful look.  He said, “Queen, I will pray for you to find your wallet.  I will pray that you find it in your house.  I will pray for you.”  I expressed my thanks and moved on.
I continued on, got some food, and sat in front of these vendors lined up on W125th street.  There was one who was advertising free Bibles, playing old time gospel music.  It sang to my heart.  After a while, I decided it was time to head back.
Along the way, I ran into Nomis Scott Jacobs.  He isn’t homeless, but was sitting asking for food.  (Just because someone is not homeless, does not mean they do not need food.)  I gave him the card.  He asked if the card had been meant for me.  I said, “No.”  I explained that someone from Maine had bought the card just for him.  He smiled.  I asked if he knew the Lord.  I got a positive response.  A lot of these people have incredible faith.  I shook his hand and continued on.
Before I left my room, I had checked my cards online to make sure they weren’t being used.  If they had, I would have shut them down.  I just wasn’t being lead that way yet.  I had hope that they would materialize somehow.  I fantasized that I would come back to my room and it would be on my bed.  At one point, I started to blame the cat.  My Airbnb hostess has a cat, and thought maybe for one second that the cat was a kleptomaniac.
In all my life, I will never forget that feeling, those questions that ran through my mind.  Everything had changed in a second.  My security had been pulled away.  It can happen to any of us.  Our security, or what we think is security can be ripped away at any moment.  Things can change instantly.  Where does our hope lay?
I came back to my room, searched again.  I began thinking of strategies to get what I needed.  I could have money sent by Western Union.  I called to see if there was a way to do it so I wouldn't need an id.  I would have to wait until morning for the rest. 
I kept feeling that I needed to go back to the store.  Yes, they had said, no it wasn't there, but there was something stirring in my heart.  I needed to check with the clerk that was there last night.
At this point, there was absolutely nothing that I could do, nothing.  I was so exhausted that I laid down and slept.  I slept for two hours.  When I got up, I decided that I would check back at the store.  It was worth a shot.  So I did.  I walked down the stairs, out the front door, looking every step of the way again.  I waited for the light to turn so that I could go.  I walked straight into the store, up to the counter, and asked the clerk if he remembered me from last night.  I stated that I had lost my wallet.  He reached up into a different cubby than the other guy had, and brought out my wallet.  In that moment I leapt over the counter and kissed him square on the lips. (NOT!!!! But I sure felt like I could have.)  He did give me my wallet.  He said, “You might want to check it to make sure everything is there.”  You see I had dropped my wallet, and someone had turned it in.  I was so grateful.  I didn't think to give him anything for his kindness.  So I went back later and tried to give him the cash that was in the wallet.  He refused it.

The first thing I did was thank the Lord, and then I went to buy a metro card.

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